Tuesday, 27 August 2013

How the internet broke me

When I had my twins, soooo long ago now it actually frightens me, I was 19, confused, considerably stupider than I am now although considerably smaller as well. I knew sod all about babies, I had the books (oh Emma's Diary, how I did love thee) and several issues of a really shit subscription magazine. Don't buy those, by the way. But I managed, it didn't bother me that the entire information on twins from all the books could have been written on the back of a napkin. In lipstick. I just got on with it, the birth of Small Child was a similar thing although laced with a certain smug 'Dude, I've had twins. It's EASY'ness.

But new baby is a completely different kettle of fish, not the baby herself, but the fact that I now have access to the internet in all it's horrid glory.

You can type any letter. ANY letter, into Google and my instant searching previous results thinger will show up some inane question about babies that I have recently used. Little gems such as "Why isn't my baby pooing?" "Where does your baby sleep during the day?" "Is it ok to stab people in the face if you've recently had a baby?" 

In short, I am some sort of hyperchondriac freak looking up every single thing that years ago I would have probably not even noticed. It's also confused the crap out of my browser who previously only had to look at French property for sale, the BMW configurator and porn.

Thanks internet, thanks a lot.

1 comment:

  1. Congratz. Now can I do more of my own blog things on here? Its fun. ^-^